Being a Mary in a Martha World

Martha and Mary

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things…”

 In part it was understandable that Martha was anxious and troubled. Hospitality was and still is a very important concern in the Middle East. Once I was in Egypt and was told that if the host offers you something to drink, accept it even if you don’t really want it. To say “No” would be considered a great insult. So Martha was no doubt feeling some pressure to do it right and that is why she wanted Jesus to send Mary back to the kitchen.

Nevertheless it is a good thing for us that Jesus addressed her anxiety because anxiety is no small matter. This is from the American Journal of Managed Care. “The lifetime prevalence of anxiety disorders is approximately 28.8% in the United States, with more than 1 of every 4 adults experiencing at least 1 anxiety disorder in their lifetime…The total annual cost of anxiety disorders has been estimated to be between $42 billion and $46 billion….”  Another report stated that worldwide 75% of anxiety disorders go untreated which in turn leads to about 1 million suicides per year.

With anxiety being so prevalent and even so dangerous we certainly need more than a cute song telling us over and over “don’t worry, be happy.”In his book called Anxious for Nothing, Max Lucado does a masterful job of unpacking St. Paul’s words to the Philippians. Words that give concrete and divine instruction concerning anxiety. Here is St. Paul.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy— think about such things.”

First we see that St. Paul does not begin his instructions by condemning them for their anxiety. That is important because feeling guilty about being anxious is not a way to conquer it. Having anxiety attack you is not a sign of spiritual immaturity nor is it an indicator of a lack of faith. It comes with life. It’s even highlighted in our morning and  evening news. Nearly every morning we hear a shootings in Nashville. We read of home invasions, international terrorist threats, the economic bubble about to burst, home prices going out of sight, global warming, and worst of all, everything that you love to eat is going to kill you, especially bacon! Anxiety is delivered to you on a silver platter every day.

The key is what you do about it. As Martin Luther said in general about temptations, you cannot keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from making a nest in your hair. Anxiety is constantly flying overhead but we have the power to make a choice about whether or not we are going to invite it in to live with us. Jesus of course says that we should not because it is of no value whatsoever. As He classically put it, Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Mt 6:27

Max Lucado took the words of St. Paul and provides a very handy acronym. Fittingly the acronym is CALM.

“C” stand for “Celebrate.” St. Paul says “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” This is brilliant. Think about it; it is very difficult to be anxious and celebratory at the same time. One tends to drive out the other.

And what are we rejoicing? While there are endless things in the Lord about which to rejoice, when it comes to life’s anxieties, it is most fitting to rejoice that He is our Sovereign Lord. We rejoice that He is good not some of the time but all of the time. We rejoice that He loves us with an unending love. We rejoice, as St. Paul said in Romans, that nothing can separate us from His love. We rejoice that nothing can befall us that He will not turn to our good. We rejoice that our past is forgiven and that we don’t need to worry about tomorrow because God is already there. We rejoice because, as author James Bryan Smith put it, “We have confidence in a great future…We are safe and secure.”

I had lunch with Pastor Ronnie Meek last week. As most of you know his wife passed just a few weeks ago and I had the privilege of officiating at her graveside. He wanted to talk about her passing and he welcomed my questions. Because we have been friends for so long I felt I could ask him a tough one. I asked what he was telling himself now that all the plans that they had together for their future are gone. He said to me, “I don’t think that there is a day that goes by that I don’t cry, but I believe that this will be a new chapter in my life. And like all of the past chapters God had been faithful and good to me every time, so I know that He will be faithful and good in this next chapter.” You can see why Pastor Ronnie is a hero as well as a friend. If you can rejoice in God’s goodness amidst your tears, then you will crush anxiety beneath your feet. “C” is “Celebrate.”

“A” stands for “Ask.” St. Paul says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” This should be the first thing that comes to mind but to be honest sometimes we do everything else BUT pray and then we don’t understand why we have no peace. St. Paul says that we are to pray “in every situation.” So we don’t wait to pray until it is the really big stuff or we are facing something that we cannot handle. The Lord says that we are not to be anxious about ANYTHING but to pray in EVERYING. I’ve done extensive research in the Greek and have discovered that “everything” means everything! This means from losing your keys to going into surgery we are to pray.

It is also noteworthy that St. Paul adds that we are to pray “with thanksgiving.” We don’t make demands of God with a sense of entitlement. We don’t “name it and claim it” as the TV preachers call us to do. We simply present our requests to our loving heavenly Father, thankful that He is fully capable of granting those requests. And we also pray with thankfulness that He may choose not to grant our requests for our own good.

I always feel convicted when I read the story in the Gospels of Jesus healing the 10 lepers but only one comes back to say “thank you.” Too often I am like the other 9 lepers, but I am working on it. Gratefully the Book of Common Prayer is a great help in that regard. “A” is for “Ask.”

“L” stands for “Leave.” After we present our requests to God then we are to leave them with Him. According to Jesus’ teachings it is perfectly fine to repeat the request but that is very different from giving our burdens to God and then picking them back up.

I once saw a very effective treatment for a lady with severe anxiety. The therapist, who was a Christian, had the lady make what she called “a God box.” It was like a Kleenex box with the word “God” written on it. Every time that lady identified something that she was worried about, she was to write it down on a piece of paper and put it in the God box. But the deal was if she kept worrying about it after giving it to God, then she had to take the bit of paper out of the box and carry it for the rest of the day. Some days she would have both hands full of bits of paper which made daily living a challenge. For example she couldn’t shake your hand and even eating was a challenge. It was a perfect visual metaphor for what she was allowing anxiety to do to her life. The more things she left with God the easier life became. Jesus said,“Come unto me all ye that are travail and are heavy laden and I will refresh you.” One way that He does so is by saying, “Leave that burden with Me. I’ll take it from here.” “L” is for “Leave.”

“M” stand for “Meditate.” St. Paul says. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy— think about such things.” The world says that we are what we eat but Holy Scripture says that we become what we think about. Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinketh so is he.”

Thus St. Paul doesn’t just tell us not to worry, he shows us a replacement. Just like nature, our brains abhor a vacuum. If we don’t intentionally fill it with good things then all kinds of junk will rush in to fill the void. I saw an article last week that said that constant complaining rewires the brain for anxiety and depression.

But I will be the first to admit that following St. Paul’s advice here is not easy to do. It doesn’t take a lot of energy to be an Eyore but takes a world of energy to be a Tigger. However a parishioner told me that she made a New Year’s resolution to find the good in every situation and it has been positive for her. It can be a challenge but I have no doubt that what she is doing has also had a positive affect on those who are around her. Because she is a Tigger I always look forward to Lulu’s posts on Facebook. They are inevitably funny, Southern, encouraging and/or make you hungry. So do the work to fill your mind with true and noble and lovely things and it will not only fight against your worry but it will be a blessing to others.

After confronting Martha for being worried about so many things, Jesus goes on to tell her that only one thing is needful. And He didn’t have to spell it out for Martha because that one needful thing was repeated throughout her Prayer Book, which today we call the Psalms. Psalm 16:5 “The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup.” Psalm 27:4 “One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life. Psalm 73:28 “But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord my refuge.”

Martha made a mistake by not heeding these words and as a result putting the temporal before the eternal. And her is the irony. She was all worried that Jesus would get fed when just a few days earlier He had fed the 5,000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish. HE has this! She was missing an opportunity to fellowship with God in the flesh.

However Mary had chosen wisely. She chose the Lord’s presence over business, the eternal over the temporal, and Jesus said that the eternal would never be taken from her. Not in this life and certainly not in the life to come.

This story of Martha and Mary is fitting for us today. Life is so very busy even to the point that our kid’s lives are booked to the max.  From a societal point of view, not only do we no longer just sit on the front porch and drink a cup of coffee, we don’t even make front porches any more. Making proper priorities for our lives is a serious challenge but Jesus helps us.

In a variety of ways in the Gospels Jesus tells us that our priority is to live for today but to do so in light of eternity. In the Sermon on the Mount He said that we are not to worry about tomorrow because tomorrow has enough trouble if its own. But instead we are to seek first the kingdom of God.

We do this when we choose the eternal over the temporal. We become like Mary when we make being with Christ our highest priority. We become like Mary when we don’t allow anything to keep us from being united with Christ through receiving His Body and His Blood. We become like Mary when we give God our first fruits rather than our leftovers. We become like Mary when we seek Christ in all people and prefer the needs of others over our own. We become like Mary when care for “the least of these.” And God has set up life so that the more we become like Mary the more peace filled our lives become.

But we don’t become like Mary by accident because we live in a Martha world. In fact millions of dollars are spent every day, through television, radio and the social media to convince you to remain like Martha. And all of your Martha like friends and colleagues will load you with expectations and guilt to get you back in the kitchen and act like “a responsible adult.”

Being a Mary in a Martha world does not come by accident. Jesus said it is a choice. So the question to answer every day is if we are going to choose to be anxious and worried about many things or if we are going to choose that one needful thing. Today you have chosen to be a Mary. Who will you choose to be tomorrow? Amen.

 

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